“Mommy, is that a mountain? “No dear, that’s just the landfill.”
What it usually means: The coldest season of the year.
What it means in Florida: It’s slightly less hot.
2. Coffee
What it usually means: A caffeinated drink you consume when you’re tired.
What it means in Florida: A Cuban shot of perfection that is the most blissful morning pick-me-up you could ever ask for.
3. Mountains
Flickr: chapstickaddict / Creative Commons
What it usually means: A range of breathtaking scenery.
What it means in Florida: Landfills.
4. Humidity
What it usually means: Hot and sticky.
What it means in Florida: An omnipresence that hits you like a brick wall when you step outside at 7 a.m.
5. Summer
What it usually means: An enjoyable time for beach trips, frozen yogurt, and fun in the sun.
What it means in Florida: A LITERAL HELLSCAPE.
6. Sub
What it usually means: A sandwich.
What it means in Florida: A heavenly bundle of joy God spreads to the world through Publixes.
7. Hurricanes
What it usually means: A tropical cyclone that can cause serious damage.
What it means in Florida: Anything below a Category 3 is an excuse to drink excessively and party indoors.
8. Flip-flops
Flickr: jmazzola1 / Creative Commons
What it usually means: Shoes you wear in the summer, usually to the beach.
What it means in Florida: Shoes you wear to school, to clubs, and to every other event or hangout.
9. Cockroach
What it usually means: A terrifying creature you sometimes find in your house.
What it means in Florida: OMG THAT’S NOT A COCKROACH IT’S A PALMETTO RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
10. Steering wheel
Flickr: dotcomboy / Creative Commons
What it usually means: That piece that allows you to control a car.
What it means in Florida: A burning wheel of death that’s been sitting in the parking lot for an hour.
11. Rain
What it usually means: A day or two of gray skies and precipitation.
What it means in Florida: Your friendly torrential downpour at 3 p.m. every day.
12. Staycation
What it usually means: Taking off work to hang out at home.
What it means in Florida: DISNEY WORLD.
13. 65 degrees
What it usually means: Great day for a light jacket.
What it means in Florida: Where are my UGG boots?
14. Parallel parking
What it usually means: Carefully maneuvering your car into a street parking space.
What it means in Florida: LOL, this is a thing that exists?
15. Snow
Flickr: sweetone / Creative Commons
What it usually means: White stuff that falls from the sky in winter.
What it means in Florida: That small pile of ice in the freezer.
16. Ducks:
What it usually means: A bird often found in ponds or lakes.
What it means in Florida: “Wait for the ducks to walk across before you back up the car.”
17. Keys
Flickr: 1stpix_diecast_dioramas / Creative Commons
What it usually means: What you use to unlock doors.
What it means in Florida: Gorgeous islands.
18. Tan
What it usually means: When your skin turns a darker color from being out in the sun all day.
What it means in Florida: A base level of color you consistently sport just from walking from your car to your office.
19. Pools
What it usually means: A fun activity to do in the summer.
What it means in Florida: Something to do when you get home from school.
20. Interstate
What it usually means: An interstate.
What it means in Florida: HIGHWAY TO HELL.
22. Miami
What it usually means: A fun place to vacation.
What it means in Florida: Its own separate country.
23. Florida
What it means to everyone else in the country: A crazy place full of weirdos. (Not totally true!)
What it means to you: Your gorgeous home sweet home.
